Ladies wot lunch

Audlem WI Luncheon Club

Once I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and swiftly became the proud owner of an aisle in Sainsbury's!

The one place I can feel emotionally balanced is when I'm standing in the supermarket drinks aisle, contemplating the joy of inheriting the tall genes which enable me to reach even the top shelves!

You may ask what has this got to do with anything about the WI?

Well, I've known for a long time that it is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words, like 'What about lunch,' and this leads me onto the latest episode of our recent ladies luncheon club foray into the upmarket eating establishment known as The Boar's Head.

We like to treat our lunch meetings as the GO sign for eating as much as our stretch marks can tolerate, as at our ages our broad minds and narrow waists have changed places, however when we hit an upmarket eatery a little decorum and restraint is required as we have the good name of the Audlem WI to maintain.

This month's luncheon club was organised by Anne Watson, a lady renowned for her expertise and organisational skills who, coming fully armed with her whip, dutifully gave us all a white card with our names and pre selected luncheon choices impeccably typed out. Most of our members do now have functioning brain cells – temporarily lost when they were traded in for children – but now fully reinstalled and raring to go.

Wisely, The Boar's Head had organised our tables in one of their more intimate areas, as far away as possible from the paying public, or riff-raff as we like to call them.

For some reason there was an air of panic on the faces of the young, but extremely efficient waiting on staff, I suppose the sight of over twenty ladies, some armed with wine glasses in both hands, (see the photos) may have been challenging, but surely our good humoured banter would put them at their ease?

Now women are only helpless when their nail varnish is drying, so we were delighted to have appointed to us two young adonis's who were prepared to serve our every need!
We also had a very efficient waitress, but we didn't see a lot of her as she was on drink order duty and we kept her fully occupied behind the bar – we hate to see idle hands!

The staff were, of course, under instructions from Head Office to treat us as royalty, the WI being a national organisation, carries heavy weight with our Government and this, combined with the highest standards of baking, bottling and preserving, meant they had a lot to live up to – we weren't just a selection of pretty faces!

The food was, as expected, absolutely delicious, and all starter, sweets and drinks were added to our white cards in case we succumbed to dementia before we had time to pay.

Selecting a sweet, or desert as some of us like to call it, demands great thought, another drink and a thorough discussion with other WI members, before a choice can be made.

Personally I love ice cream – I had a deprived childhood – and one day I'm going to open an ice cream shop and name the flavourers things like ' Don't be sad', 'He's not worth it', 'You deserve better', but in the meantime I settled on mango sorbet, honeycomb and chocolate ice cream.

Finally the time came to pay for all this fun and fellowship, so we dutifully placed our white cards in front of the till to ensure correct payment. The relieved proprietor thought this was such a brilliant idea that he is going to suggest all dining groups do it – just another positive tick in Audlem WI's box!

After a wonderfully busy lunch, converting oxygen to carbon dioxide, yes, we have scientists as members too, I realised yet again that true friends don't judge each other, they judge other people – together!

See you all at our March meeting.

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