Swifts lured by bearded men in Cemetery

Unusual reports have been crossing AudlemOnline's Newsdesk about sightings of two strange, elderly, bearded and balding men hanging about Audlem Cemetery playing bird songs from a CD player.

AOL decided to look further into these reports and borrowed the ace investigative reporter, Lunchtime O'Booze, from that esteemed organ Private Eye. After intensive research at three local hostelries, and a brief trip to the graveyard, O'Booze discovered that these strange gentlemen were in fact trying to entice Swifts to nest in the recently erected Swift nesting boxes in the Cemetery.

A spokesman for the bearded and balding men explained that Swifts were communal nesting birds and that by playing a recording of their song it was hoped that this would attract the birds to the nesting boxes. Swifts numbers are declining rapidly (or even swiftly!) – the RSPB estimate that there has been a 51% decrease in their breeding numbers between 1995 and 2015 – and it is thought that one reason for this decline is a lack of suitable nesting sites.

AudlemOnline wishes to thank O'Booze for his help with this report and wishes to assure readers that no elderly, bearded and balding men, or swifts, were injured during the production of this story.

Ed – AWEG (Audlem Wildlife and Ecology Group) strenuously deny that they have anyone remotely answering the description "elderly, bearded and balding" in their membership.

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