Collapse, Comeback and Chaos: The Audlem Way

Collapse, Comeback and Chaos: The Audlem Way

Audlem 1st XI completed another scarcely believable comeback though entirely plausible if you've followed their 2025 season closely against Alsager 2nd XI to maintain their grip on the top of Division 4.

A game-changing spell of 5 for 23 from Bertie Hardy, including a triple-wicket maiden, engineered a collapse of 8 for 16, as Audlem went on to seal a fairly comfortable 19-run victory. That final clause feels almost absurd to write, given that just 10 minutes earlier, ChatGPT's version of WinViz had Alsager's chances at 91%.

Stand-in captain Dave Blatherwick, perhaps in a bid not to outshine the club's fearless leader Chris Shenton, promptly lost the toss and Audlem were asked to bat. A selfless gesture from the vice.

The generosity continued as the innings got underway, with Jake Topping kindly giving Alsager's slip cordon some catching practice instead of troubling the scorers. He was so effective in this role, he lasted just one ball.

The charity stopped there for the time being as Audlem's opening wicket-keeper batsman Venu Reddy took to the Alsager attack like Donald Trump to an ALL-CAPS tweet. An explosive start from the opener saw him bludgeon eight boundaries in his 39 off 25 balls, as the home side raced to 52 for 1 before Cameron Eden removed him at the end of the seventh over.

Blatherwick trod the same path shortly after. At the other end, Irfan Shaik kept the scoreboard ticking with a few of his internationally trademarked, checked-off and cover drives a product that would likely attract hefty import tariffs in today s chaotic trade environment. Well placed at 26 off 34 balls, Shaik timed an on-drive so sweetly (the kind of timing this writer can only dream of) that it went straight to the fielder at long-on.

Shaik's dismissal brought Measures to the crease, joining Richard Wilson at 78 for 4. The pair anchored the middle overs with a 56-run stand in 92 balls. At 134 for 4 after 26.3 overs, the home side looked poised for an explosive finish even the most pessimistic Audlem supporter might have had ambitions of topping 200. But Measures s mistimed on-drive for 19 off 44 balls proved to be the catalyst for what would only be the second-worst collapse of the day. His departure was closely followed by Salisbury and Wilson (who made 39 from 53), and in the blink of an eye, Audlem were all out for 170. It could have been worse had Hardy not slapped a rapid 17 off almost as many balls.

Debate raged at half time over which was more criminal: losing 6 wickets for 36 runs or leaving 6 overs on the table on a very good batting strip. At the conclusion of the match, losing 6 wickets for 36 runs reflected a strong finish. Alsager, by comparison went down like an inflatable castle at a porcupine convention. More on that later.

Audlem started the second innings knowing that anything less than 10 wickets would probably result in Alsager recording a home and away double in 2025. With that in mind, a quick start and early wickets were in high demand for the home side. However Alsager's opening pair Billy Strong and Hassan Jamil had clearly refused to read the script as they moved to 49-0 in 9.5 overs giving the away side a solid start in the chase.

Audlem's leading all-time not-out batsman and league wicket-taker, Simon Swift, made the initial breakthrough swiftly backed up by Vijayan Rahul as the home side wrestled back some control. After Jamil's fluent 38 off 38 balls, Audlem put the brakes on the Alsager innings, tightening lines and starving runs on what remained a docile pitch.

With 19 overs on the board and drinks around the corner, Audlem were marginally ahead and albeit only having taken 2 wickets, the home side would have felt confident in prizing out a few more scalps to force home their advantage.

That was until the vice-captain asked Irfan Shaik to bowl (at least to this writer) his lesser-known leg spin bowling. Rumours that Dave Blatherwick had gone delirious were not helped, when one fielder started calls of "Come on Warney" . After a 12 run over, the trial was promptly ended, and a phone was reportedly hurled towards the Irish Sea from a beach in Anglesey.

Drinks came and went and Audlem continued to toil manfully on a pitch that was not offering much assistance. Blatherwick chopped and changed the bowling to prize out a wicket, but Pickford and Haleem kept nudging the away side towards the target. The 86-run partnership moved Alsager to 135-2 with Pickford on 42 off 71 balls. The result was Thanos-like, inevitable. Even Chat-GPT WinViz was packing up and preparing to turn the lights off with Alsager holding a 91% change of victory.

But Audlem's man for any occasion and any fight, Simon Swift wedged open the door with the wicket of Pickford. His match figures of 2-16 in 8 overs would prove to be a key pillar of Audlem's recovery and keeping them in the game for so long.

If Swift was the one to wedge open the door, it Audlem's Gen Z double-act Hardy and Topping that kicked it down, splintered it and set fire to the remains. In a breathtaking 3.4 overs the two bowlers took 7 wickets for 8 runs as Hardy picked up a maiden five-wicket haul in first team cricket (5-23) and Topping added 2 for 21 in a ruthless closing act.

It was the kind of collapse that might prompt a re-read of the scorecard, or perhaps a call to the opticians. In ten surreal minutes, Audlem flipped the match on its head from the brink of a deflating home loss in a title race to a confident 19-run victory.

Landmarks and Statistics:

• 5-23 – First 5-wicket haul and best 1st XI figures for Bertie Hardy
• 250 runs in 2025 league cricket for Irfan Shaik
• 80 not outs in league cricket for Audlem 1st XI for Simon Swift
• 3500 runs in league cricket for Audlem 1st XI for Richard Wilson
• 5.85% – of deliveries were dot balls in Audlem's innings
• 13.12% – of deliveries were dot balls in Alsager's innings

Editor's research shows:- What is a Dot Ball in Cricket?
A dot ball is a delivery which doesn’t concede any runs. If the batting team cannot score from the bat or via any form of extras, the delivery is referred to as a dot ball.

The delivery doesn’t have to take a wicket. As long as there are no runs scored, it can be referred to as a dot.