The result of the Shropshire Street River naming competition

As contractors have started work this morning on the Shropshire Street River, we have brought forward the announcement of the Audlem On line 'Name the River' competition. From a fine selection of entries, the winner is De-Nile – since the water board and the council have been in denial of responsibility for almost two months. The winners are David & Lynn Rowe. Congratulations to them – they just beat off strong competition from Pete Marshall with his suggestion of 'The Ooze' – as in 'ooze responsible' for this oozing out of the ground.

Negotiations will now start with the Discovery Channel for a new film on 'The Search for De-Nile'. Historians and TV fans may recall the famous race between the British explorer John Hanning Speke and Richard Burton – the explorer and multi-lingual adventurer, that is, not the great Welsh actor who kept marrying Elizabeth Taylor – to find the source of the Nile in the late 1850s, and which was later captured in a TV film.

The Audlem/Discovery Channel update of The Search for the Source of De-Nile would, ideally, star Michael Palin (as the United Utilities representative), as he is now an explorer of some repute, and John Clease for Cheshire County Council. They would bring the ideal blend of comedy and adventure to what promises to be a fine production. At least one member of the Audlem Online team is, however, desperate to find a role for Scarlett Johansson!

The Audlem Online team will now try and find a gnome with a fishing rod to present to David & Lynn. The second prize of a fishing licence has not been won as nobody has been able to provide an authenticated sighting of a pukka fish in the new river.

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