The Post Office Lament

Frustrated by the lack of action from the Post Office, Parish Councillors have been driven to desperate measures and have resorted to song to try to get their attention.

With sincere apologies to Thomas Le Brunn who wrote the words and George Le Brunn who wrote the music.

And apologies to Wybunbury Post Office – try as we would it proved impossible to find a suitable rhyme or scansion for "Wybunbury" whereas "Woore" (the other of our two nearest remaining Post Offices) was no problem.

The photos show our rather forlorn Post Office

To the tune of 'Oh Mr Porter, what can I do'.

Oh Mr Postman, what can I do?
I need to pick a parcel up and I've got to go to Crewe
I have no car to get there and little money too
So oh Mr Postman what can I do?

Oh, says the Postman I know what to do
You have to go by public transport and buses there are two
First you go to Nantwich, then you go to Crewe
Its really very simple but will take up all your day.

Oh, Mr Postman, what can I do?
I need to get my pension and the Post Office withdrew
its services from Audlem. I need the money too.
So oh Mr Postman what can I do?

Oh, says the Postman I know what to do
You have to go to Woore to get it but no bus goes there, so...
You'll have to ask a neighbour or ADCA and its crew
But that's the nearest PO so that is what you do

Oh, Mr Postman, what can I do?
A taxi's what I need to do the things I need to do
It's twenty quid to Nantwich and forty in to Crewe
Oh Mr Postman, what can I do?

Oh, said the Postman, I'm not sure what to do
The taxi's so expensive and will cost a lot to you
Is it really worth the journey, all the way to Crewe?
It should be folk from Royal Mail who bring the stuff to you.

Oh Mr Postman, what can I do?
I need to bank a cheque today but the bank's so far away
They closed the one in Drayton and more will close, they say
So oh Mr Postman, what can I do?

Oh, says the Postman, I don't know what to do
We have no local services now to recommend to you
I used to work in Audlem but now have to go to Crewe
We are really in a pickle and I don't know what to do.

Oh Mrs Vennells, what can we do?
We have no local PO now and we don't know what to do
We don't want to go to Nantwich, we don't want to go to Crewe
So oh Mrs Vennells, what can we do?

Oh, Audlem people, we don't care what you do
We have to make a profit and that comes from all of you
So go out to the bus stop, pay to park in Crewe
We'll get round to you eventually but be quiet 'til we do.

This article is from our news archive. As a result pictures or videos originally associated with it may have been removed and some of the content may no longer be accurate or relevant.