Cowpat Treasure Scoop

An AudlemOnline exclusive

A number of somewhat sinister strangers have been spotted wandering intently round the fields near Audlem, clutching clipboards.
At first it was assumed that they were merely measuring up the next lump of agricultural land to be handed over to developers for a housing estate, or perhaps some government scientists locating the best spots for a bit of test fracking.

But no! – on closer observation it was clear that it was the cows that they were watching, not the landscape, and they were particularly excited whenever one of the animals decided it was time to drop its next cowpat, marking the spot meticulously on their clipboard.

When questioned by our reporter over a pint or two of particularly potent beer, they revealed that there is big money to be gained for anyone who can accurately predict the spot where a cow will perform its function, and their observations were an attempt to establish a scientific way of predicting this event.
It was also noticed that after a while the cows became a bit embarrassed by all this attention, and showed signs of trying to retreat behind the nearest hedge whenever the need came over them.

However, it is clear that something is in the wind, and AudlemOnline will ensure, as ever, that our readers are kept up to date with developments and given the best opportunity to profit from them – watch this space!

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