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The COVID story

23rd April 2024 @ 6:06am – by Stephanie Richardson
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The first of two COVID booster jab sessions for theover-75s was held in the Public Hall on Monday. Needless to say our Medical Affairs Correspondent was among them.....

As the rain drizzled down in Audlem village on Monday, a peculiar sight unfolded at the crack of dawn. It seemed that theover-75s and those with more medical files than a library card had formed an impromptu race to the Public Hall, fuelled by a mix of determination and the promise of their extra Covid booster. It was like the Olympic Games for the geriatric set, with walkers doubling as starting blocks and hearing aids tuned to catch any whispers of queue jumping. As the rest of the village slept soundly, blissfully unaware of the impending shuffleboard showdown, we intrepid seniors were ready to roll up our sleeves and show COVID-19 who was boss.
We tottered forward, leaning on walking sticks like seasoned mountaineers conquering Everest. But our destination wasn't a summit, it was the coveted haven of the Public Hall where a handful of lucky villagers found solace indoors, nestled comfortably in our chairs, shielded from the dreary rain that pattered against the windowpanes.
As we elderly villagers settled in to fill out our questionnaires, chaos reigned supreme with scenes resembled a comedy of errors more than a routine task. Some squinted at the tiny print through their trifocal fogged up glasses, muttering about the good old days when font sizes were sensible and pens were still pens, not these contraptions that required a PhD in engineering to operate. Questionnaire forms were waved about like battle flags. 'I Didn't bring my reading glasses?' echoed through the air, followed by a chorus of sympathetic murmurs.
As the line slowly inched forward, the villagers swapped stories of yesteryear, reminiscing about the good old days when a packet of sherbet was the height of excitement and staying up past 9 p.m. was practically scandalous.
Back in the queue, came the undressing debacle. Coats were shed like snakes shedding skin, revealing arms adorned with a colourful array of bruises from blood tests and old tattoos, now unrecognisable due to sagging issues. One gentleman, who, in his haste to strip off his coat, managed to send his spectacles flying across the room, prompting a search party amongst the staff. Amidst the laughter and gentle teasing, we all eventually managed to undress, proving that even in old age, there's always room for a bit of slapstick humour!
Finally, we reached the position where the NHS Nurses greeted us with a warm smile and a steady hand. So, with a mixture of determination and a hint of trepidation, we stepped forward one by one, our spirits lifted by the promise of protection against the unseen foe that has disrupted all our lives.
In the midst of calling 'next' by the nurses, the village resident daredevil decided to spice things up by attempting to break the world record for the slowest walk to the front of the line. With each step meticulously calculated and executed with the precision of a tightrope walker, he had the crowd holding their breath in anticipation, wondering if he would make it to the end before the sun set.
But amidst the chaos and the rain, there was a sense of camaraderie. Jokes were cracked about the absurdity of the situation, and laughter floated through the air like bubbles in champagne. After all, what's a little rain when you're on a mission to defeat a global pandemic?
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the last person in line triumphantly emerged from the hall, brandishing a freshly punctured arm like a badge of honour. The queue dispersed and as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds, it seemed like even the weather was applauding Audlem's resilience in the face of adversity.

Fear not, there is another date for booster vaccinations on Monday 29th April......10 am, you have been warned!

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