Audlem WI – Top Tips for Spring

Welcome to April, as far as I can see the world has more fools in it than ever now that the US President has embroiled himself in The White House and Brexit has been triggered, however I have decided to be upbeat, positive and informative this month and subsequently I shall be passing on a wealth of constructive information to our lady members.

Since seniors are texting and tweeting more and more I feel there is a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).

After racking the few brain cells that I have left due to my regular alcohol consumption – I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen – I've come up with a few relevant abbreviations;

ATD – At the Doctors; ATH – At the Hospital; FWIW – Forgot where I was; FWB – Friend with Beta Blockers; BTW – Bring the wheelchair; BYOT – Bring your own teeth; LMDO – Laughing my dentures out; DWI – Driving whilst incontinent; and my particular favourite ROFL – CGU – Rolling on the floor laughing – can't get up!!

Whilst we are on the subject of technology, a few further tips. When you call the IT people with a computer problem, be sure to leave the computer buried under half a ton of old newspapers, photos of grandchildren, pension forms, dried flowers, WI trophies and boxed Rummikub and Mah Jong sets.

They don't have lives, and they find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Another top tip, don't learn the proper name for anything. They know exactly what you mean by 'my thingy blew up' and don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps. When your computer won't power up, complain to your IT support ( often my husband ) before you check to see whether you've switched the monitor on. It's always good for a laugh!

Send urgent emails all in UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery!

Always ensure that all of the cables connecting your computer equipment are tied together and stuffed tightly at the back of your desk – IT support will then willingly remove any accumulated dust and cobwebs in their search for the correct lead!

When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes – then call IT support.

When you need to change the ink cartridge in the printer, call IT Support again. Changing an ink cartridge is an extremely complex task and manufacturers recommend that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a masters degree in nuclear physics.

Finally, feel perfectly free to say things like, 'I don't know anything about that computer crap'. They don't mind at all hearing their area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

Hope all of this information helps – now back to the meeting!

Back to the Meeting

Sometimes you just know things are not going to run smoothly.

This was our first evening meeting at the new start time of 7.00 pm. Fortunately only two people forgot, arriving late – I only send out emails for fun, I don't expect people to read them!

Then our April speaker was unable to attend, but fortunately Jean Cook, a WI stalwart, had managed to find us a replacement speaker – Judy Popley – at very short notice.

Finally the microphone went missing, and upon arrival at the Scout and Guide Hall I realised I had left my phone at home so would be unable to take any photos!

Upon hearing my woes, I did hear a sigh of relief from several members so I made a note, as they'll be in my next report! Our replacement speaker Judy Popley, after a bit of grovelling on my part, kindly gave me permission to take photos off her website.

Guest Talk by Judy Popley

Judy's talk was entitled 'Stately Homes, Estates and Buildings and their Legacy.'

Judy Popley moved to Cheshire over 35 years ago from Yorkshire but still retains strong contacts with her roots. Having worked at Granada Television – another great talk that she gives – she met her husband, and then worked for over 10 years at Tatton Park and then Arley Hall.

Her day job is organising plant fairs, mainly at stately homes, as she is passionate about plants and gardens.

Using slides, Judy took us on a gentle journey around England looking at stately homes, their owners and the buildings they created, from stable blocks to follies, home farms to estate villages. She was particularly descriptive of their landscapes and gardens, many of whom were designed by "Capability Brown.'

In order to really communicate to people through speech you need to have passion and knowledge about your subject and that feeling shone through Judy's talk as she divulged tit-bits of insider knowledge that she had gained by 'snooping' around!

Daphne Mounteney stood up to give Judy a well deserved vote of thanks before another delicious selection of cakes was produced

After tea the raffle was drawn and the lucky winners were Sheila Harris, Jackie Creber, Margaret Wells, Val Butler and Christine Harper – I didn't buy any raffle tickets as I'm betting on the Grand National this Saturday and I'm only permitted one flutter a week!

Birthday flowers were duly presented to Pat Clarke, Sue Davies, Sheila Harris, Betty Minns, Christine Plume and Doreen Hubbard.

Finally Daphne wished us all a safe journey home, and after the shock of realising it was now dark outside, I think most of us made it back safely.

Remember ladies, beware of a man with a gleam in his eyes – it may just be the sun shining through the hole in his head!

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