I don't think inside the box, I don't think outside the box either as I don't even know where the box is, however I don't think I get enough credit for what I write as I do it all unmedicated – well maybe the odd glass of wine – however this is my final write up as press secretary for Audlem WI, so you can all breathe a sigh of relief!
Being the wife of a computer buff, I have finally realised that my mind is a bit like our internet browser, at least seventeen tabs open, one of which is frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from!
Our children may make fun of us when they help us with computer stuff, but remember ladies, we taught them how to eat with a spoon and use the toilet..
As we get older, simple things can please us, like when we go into a room and remember why we went there ( even if it is only the bathroom ) and realising that you haven't really lost your mobile, you are just using the torch facility as you search for it!
This month's attendance was excellent, over forty members and four visitors eager to join our merry band, much to our President Lin's delight. The table flowers were stunning, thank you Anne Watson, and Chris Plume had two tables full of a fine variety of jewellery which she was selling on behalf of Audlem's Charity Shop. She did a roaring trade as some of our members bought back items that they had previously donated, that's the advantage of having short memories!
Our scheduled speaker was due to give a talk on ladies underwear. Now we all know that we shouldn't tie our knickers in a knot as it doesn't solve anything and it makes us walk funny, however sadly she was unable to come so that well known local ,Valerie Mackin, valiantly stepped into the breach at very short notice....we took the handcuffs off as soon as she started her talk.
Usually I never have anything up my sleeve, (however today it was a tumble dryer sheet) but how can I realistically describe such an iconic and stalwart, pink haired Audlem lady with such a wide and diverse set of handicraft knowledge?
She can weave, embroider, crochet, make lace, paint, produce felt pictures, quilt, make rag rugs, grow vegetables and create beautiful ceramics....her skill set is endless however she modestly insists she hasn't yet mastered any of these skills but merely 'dabbles'. She is also an enthusiastic member of the History Society, the Embroiderers Guild, Audlem Voices and Crafty Chat – now that one seems more up my street!
To all our members, as well as our community, Val is a fine example of someone who believes that if we are to achieve a richer culture, abounding in contrasting values, we need to recognise the whole gamut of human potential, as in the great tapestry of life, we are all connected and each one of us brings a gift to those around us, helping each other be who we are as we weave a community picture together..........this bit's a tad poetic, I'll have to be careful!
For someone who lives on a narrowboat, Val had bought along huge and diverse examples of her handiwork, all of which are put to good use within her cabin. There is no room for fripperies in Val's life. She wore a homemade typical example of a canal woman's outfit, complete with a large white bonnet to keep the sun off the back of your head whilst working.
Val believes that one of the greatest pleasures on this earth is steering a narrowboat and, assuming there aren't too many hazards ahead as she does all the lock work, she drifts from one inspirational scenic view to another on her beloved 'Autumn Mist'. This way she always has fresh ideas in her head for whatever craft takes her fancy.
She told us how large families lived on the boats, sleeping in one room, and that small children were tied to the chimney to stop them falling into the water! Personally I think that was cruel, if they wanted to jump overboard they should have be allowed to do so – I'm certain it went against their human rights!
Not one to ignore a teaching opportunity, Val passed around sheets of crafting paper and showed us all how to make paper cups, a useful tool should we ever be lost in the jungle without a cup to pour our Prosecco into.
Chris Plume gave a heartwarming vote of thanks to Val who encouraged us all to come up and examine her work which we eagerly did, whilst delicately balancing our cups of tea at the same time!
Our President Lin had to leave early, so Elizabeth Green gamely stepped into her shoes to give out dates of clubs as well as dealing with the birthday flowers which were presented to Nola Fisher, Janice Jackson, Linda Hough, Pat Jones, Anne Poole and Anne Watson.
Finally it was time to say goodbye again until next month. See you all there.
Don't wear headphones whilst vacuuming, I have just hoovered the whole house before realising my vacuum cleaner wasn't plugged in.
Don't upset old people, a life sentence doesn't seem so bad as you get older!
Every woman's dream is that someone will take her in their arms, throw her into the bed and clean the whole house while she sleeps.
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