Audlem find Wistaston a handful

Sunday and here we go again. Our match today versus Wistaston is one of just three to go before the end of the season.

Pitch looks good. Firm and grass cover not too tired. The row of Field Maple trees that line the edge of the field are awash with the nascent seed pods after their early blooming and a splendid Horse Chestnut across the pitch is lit by a mass of floral candles.

The pealing of St James' bells once again glorious – we must have one of the best team of campanologists around, as they ring for well over a half hour on a bright, albeit breezy day.

I walk the pitch to see if any messages left by dogs and their owners but all clear – and even find a 20p piece. A lucky omen think I?

Luxury of luxuries, we have 16 players who present themselves for selection. The most for many a week now. Which gives our management team of Geoff Stretch and James Bebbington the novel headache of who to leave on the bench.

Referee Dave Bloor arrives late at 10.50 – held up by a bad smash at the Rising Sun junction (a notorious black spot). Quickly into his strip and off we go – a tad late.

Fast and furious with Wistaston attacking from the start. Free kicks galore as they virtually camp in our half.

Skipper Kev Mort up front but very vociferous in telling his defence to watch out. Game is stopped as the Ref. requires a small hole on the far side to be filled. My spade, brought to clear any dog mess, comes in handy. That is a first methinks.

They press harder and a fierce header is well saved by Connor Baxter in goal for us. Cool breeze as the sun hides behind a cloud. I wonder if I will need my jacket.

11.15. A penalty awarded to WFC . And it was a penalty. No dispute. They score. 0-1.

Our opponents pass the ball well. On the ground, man to man.
11.25. They score again in a scrambled goal mouth. 0-2.

Even more free kicks awarded to WFC. Ref. tells Kev Mort he will send players off for back chat if they persist. CB pulls off another good save as WFC drive at us. Geoff Stretch plays a sub and on comes Joe Overland for Alan Brindley whose fitness not yet 100%.

Ref. books – guess who – Kev Rodgers for back chat.

Ref . books Kev Mort for a bad tackle. Then a succession of free kicks to WFC as they dominate our half of the pitch. 11.40. They score. 0-3!

Second Half

Two minutes in and Dag "Deep Heat" Sirle is booked for back chat. 11.52 and it's 0-4!
Yet more free kicks as WFC again take over our half of the pitch. Dave Bebbington's hamstring goes. Off he hobbles and on comes Lewis Bruce.

Free kicks again – seem to be as numerous as confetti – and blow me down, they score again. 0-5.

It goes from bad to worse. Joe Benson on and James Bebbington off as we try a different set up.

Within a minute they score again. 0-6! So embarrassing. The best thing is the sun is so hot and the breeze has lessened.

But on the field of play, no such good fortune. Ref. books Lewis Bruce for a mistimed tackle. And to top it all, they score once more.

0-7. The worst ever performance by Audlem FC.

A game of two halves as they say – and we were in neither of them. Even a buzzard is spotted by our most faithful of supporters – perhaps gathering to feed on the 'corpse' that was AFC at the close of the match. A misuse of the word – for it was not match. T'was a massacre.

Next game is our last home game of the season – on the 11th of May. Versus F C SEMTEX, the top of the league team that lives up to its name.

In all honesty, I could not name a man of the match today.

Ralph Warburton
Chairman

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