Will Audlem go dry?

This article is nothing to do with the weather!

There are disturbing rumours (facts, even) circulating in the village, that

• The Shroppie Fly is to be "permanently" closed.
• A replacement for Adam at the Bridge Inn is only now being trained for the job.
• There is nobody yet identified to take over the Lord Combermere from Jo and Allan.

Faced with the appalling prospect of no ale being available in the village, a proposal is being fast-tracked to extend the HS2 development to include a high-speed monorail link from Audlem to Hankelow, to enjoy the benefits of the White Lion.

Driver-less trains would run every 3 minutes during opening hours from Cox Bank, via Copthorne and Turnpike Field, to the main stop in the village centre and then on via the Anwyll estate and Corbrook Court to Hankelow.

To keep the cost to the minimum, the system would be based on the Monorail developed by Brennan in about 1907, as shown in the picture.

The development will inevitably increase the Parish precept by about 4,000%, to pay for it but this prospect has been accepted by most residents as preferable to the unthinkable alternatives.