The Weekend Feature Story

The Uninvited Guest

I am feeling a little down now that all our Christmas visitors have gone home. It was lovely to see the British part of the family and very exciting to hear of the addition to our little Australian family.

Just one guest I am both happy and sad to see the back of.

We were sitting in the living room on the 27th after all five children were up on the top floor in bed, making up the Australian quiz for middle daughter's New Year bash. Lovely quiet(ish) time enjoying our last evening together. Fire lit and heating on, well settled down for a drink or two when I suddenly caught sight of a small thing scuttling across the room.

Squeal from daughter Kate when I shared this information and our visitor came out to see what all the commotion was. Break up of relaxed evening. I found the only traps we had, two useless plastic easy-to-set ones, and they were duly laid down after being primed.

The next morning I was up early to make sure that the grandchildren were not testing the traps, I was fairly and correctly confident that nothing had been caught but I didn't want them to hurt their fingers. The previous day the youngest two had been sent off to do something useful rather than lie about looking under the settee.

They had tried to protest that they were 'investigating' or some such thing but father of the youngest was unimpressed and sent them off to investigate elsewhere. It turns out they were observing said small visitor which was under the settee. Then they went on the Wii again, losing interest as there was no body and no sighting.

Once dressed it was round to Williams' to buy some of their impressive array of killer devices. Over the next few days the mouse, for such it turned out to be, got through a truly impressive amount of poison pellets and blocks, much more tidily than any human eats. It was slightly unnerving to sit and read or whatever with someone else in the room. Every little sound was startling.

Eventually I resorted to the trap. I didn't want to have to see a dear little dead body in the trap but it just wouldn't go away. I was also worried that its friends and neighbours might hear what a cosy place this was, I say was because now everyone has gone it is much much cooler.

Himself came up with the good news the next morning that the trap had done the trick, although when I got down I found the trap and body still where I had put it so that I could "see for myself".

That is the stage at which all the conditioning over the years of cartoons, is anyone ever on Jerry's side?, Beatrix Potter and the like all combined to make me feel really bad as I disposed of the little body with its perfect little pink feet.

When I went up to the top floor to check on everything the last book they had been reading was "The Church Mice at Christmas".

So here we are alone again.....I hope.

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