Use bitcoins to pay for parking

Cheshire East have come up with the suggestion that residents could pay parking fees in Audlem car park using bitcoins.

As is well-known bitcoins are a virtual currency based on the clever use of enormous prime numbers on computers, and they have gained in value since Trump was elected president.

The computer power required to create and process these gigantic numbers is way beyond the ordinary Audlem resident, but luckily the Parish Council has managed to recruit Ralf Spirit, a currency expert from Market Drayton, who has invented a scheme based on two of the lowest prime numbers (i.e 3 and 5).

This will allow residents to generate bitcoins on their own mobile phones (or even, in an emergency, on the back of an envelope), and then use them to pay for parking. These numbers are, of course also the basis of a well-known dominoes game and it is anticipated that Audlem players will become champions of this game as well as very rich.

Cheshire East will then be able to sell these bitcoins at the going rate ($65,099.34) and the resulting income will not only pay for all the social services they are obliged to fund, but possibly fill in a pot-hole or two as well.

Given the imminent implementation of the scheme, it is expected that Cheshire East will shortly announce the increase in parking fees to $1,000 per minute, so that one bitcoin will buy you about one hour of parking.