Men cogitate whilst women shop and one of the things we ladies love about online shopping is the fact that we can do it with bed hair, no underwear or make up, encased in sloppy jumpers, tights with holes and furry slippers. In hindsight this is perhaps not our best look and would certainly be frowned upon should we decide to try on stuff in a shop or pop to the Coop. However, it does eliminates that awkward moment when we leave without buying anything thinking to ourselves 'act natural, you're innocent'.
For me happiness is receiving my online order. My other half thinks I need professional help.... a cook and a maid should do it....but my husband who was, after all, once my favourite cup of tea before I moved on to Prosecco, hasn't yet realised that my alone time is for his own safety and the frenzied anticipation of ripping open a parcel and popping the bubble wrap is often the highlight of my day!
I also have to confess that I'm not lazy, I'm just mainly switched on to energy saving mode, so I suspect that I should, perhaps, make some changes in my life? So if you don't hear from me, you were one of them.
At the moment I am taking a break from Audlem WI due to insufficient funds to pay my subs because of the afore mentioned online shopping, but I fully intend to return next year.
I'm delighted, well a bit miffed really, to say that Audlem WI has survived and flourished without me. After all the organisation is not all about nude calendars and energetic activity these days, so welcome to the edgy new world of the Women's Institute, in which young and old can indulge in parachute-jumping, quad-biking and white water rafting!
In fact Audlem WI has increased its membership to such an extent that serious decisions have to be made as it is rapidly outgrowing holding meetings in the Scout and Guide Hall.
It's a real problem when an organisation – I use the term loosely – proves so successful that change is required, and as we all know behind every successful man stands a woman, so the members of Probus may hold the answer.
How do I know all this? Well I am still receiving emails from the WI Committee, due to an administration error, so I have inside information on the progress of the discussions with regard to this joint enterprise. I guess I could be classed as a 'whistleblower'!
We all understand the importance of community and how it positively impacts on us all, and fortunately for us Probus are also expanding – not just their waistlines but their membership – and facing similar problems. Due to the closure of Brookfield Golf Club, their members are now rattling around in the Public Hall, and that's not just their teeth, so an infusion of attractive Audlem ladies would help to fill the space, energise and smarten up both sexes and provide a welcome distraction from everybody's ailments.
Sometimes a man's purpose in life is to help her become a better woman.....generally for another man, but that's another story.....so joint meetings could prove a perfect combination made in heaven. I also feel that the number of single men and women attending these institutions highlights the fact that AOL could put another feather in their cap, by including a lonely hearts section on their website? Just a thought.
As both institutions provide monthly speakers, regular outings and monthly challenges, sharing costs and speakers could prove a perfect marriage made in heaven and the increase in income could lead to a more impressive quality of speaker and more subsidised trips.
At the moment talks between the WI President and the Probus President, with their respective committees, are ongoing and the emails exchanged are still at the 'polite but firm' stage.
There are naturally a few wrinkles to iron out – not just from shirts and blouses – such as which side of the hall should each organisation sit? Probus apparently feel that the ladies should sit on the right as it is nearer to the kitchen hatch, whilst the WI ladies feel that the gentlemen should bring them their tea and cakes, so they would like to sit on the left.
Also on the agenda are the type of speakers. Professional speakers appeal to both parties, however 'Queen Victorias Underwear' and 'How to Successfully set up a Model Railway' may not be everyone's cup of tea. After all we ladies have spent years on our knees constructing railway tracks with our children, but I very much doubt the men know much about Queen V's underwear, however given some of their ages it is a possibility?
Every month the WI hold a competition. Should the men be included? Do they know how to make a posy or design a card? Can we produce a wood turned skittle or tinker with an engine? Can we really trust Probus to polish our annual silver competition trophy? Also are Probus members up to delicately arranging table flowers every other month,
to say nothing about the high standards of raffle prizes the WI is used to?
These are huge hurdles but not insurmountable, after all competition is healthy, especially when all your competitors are either sick or absent on some world tour!
The biggest stumbling block for the WI is that they would have to change their habits of a lifetime, and hold their meetings in the morning. On the plus side, they could join Probus for lunch at the Lord Combemere, gentlemen paying of course, but on the downside they may not have enough time to do their hair and make up.
Once these tetchy teething problems have been agreed all members will be given the opportunity to vote for or against the motion.
I would love to offer moral support to this joint venture, but as many of you know my morals are questionable! My husband says that even if he threw me to the wolves I'd come back leading the pack! A bit harsh I thought.
I hope the fusion of our two great organisations materialises, as unity is the way forward. I'm keeping a low profile and hoping that no-one notices I am still on the WI committee email list as I would be gutted not to be aware of the final outcome. Fingers crossed.
When someone suggests you should 'get a grip', apparently round their neck is not what they mean!
I have come to the conclusion that buying craft supplies and actually using them are two different hobbies.
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