Parking Lament

End of the Road!

The way humans hunt, eagle eyed for parking spaces and the way animals hunt for food are not as different as you might think. Both are foraging for the best on offer, regardless of risk, within limited familiar confines, ignoring the audacity of any law that paints yellow lines on many of its most desirable food collecting areas.

The yellow lines outside the Coop are a beacon of light, attracting all and sundry, hairy or clean shaven, in the anticipation that they will not be spotted if they employ an element of surprise. Leaving engines running for a quick exit gives the impression that they are not illegally parking as speed is of the essence, and the fumes produced will only affect a few residents who have the impudence to live close by in the area.

One of the sweetest fruits of victory for both man and beast, after sleep and looting, and maybe other things, must be the chance to ignore no-parking signs. At least animals have the excuse that they haven't learnt to read.

When Armageddon takes place, parking is going to be a major problem and rules will fly out of the window – oh hang on, it would appear they already have!

Countless times I, and many other residents, have suffered personal abuse whilst politely pointing out illegal parking and entrance blocking, however, clearly, we are no match for their levels of ignorance, after all not all abuse leaves bruises.

To those who abuse those of us who are vainly trying to live our lives both peacefully and safely, the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours.

So I am now giving up my personal fight. We have, as yet, heard nothing about our parking problems from the Parish Council, although I do believe it is under discussion. This doesn't always mean I am weak, sometimes it just means I am strong enough to let go.

Ideas for Parking Signage;

No Parking – The last person who parked here is still missing.
No Parking – Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
No Parking – Stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewhere.

Steph Richardson

Editors Note:- AoL seeking further information from Cheshire Constabulary as to how such incidents can be reported electronically from Mobile 'phone cameras or DashCams.