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Ode to a Leak

15th November 2006 @ 2:02pm – by Geoff Seddon
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Not normally given to writing poetry (or doing anything at all artistic really!) Geoff has been moved to put pen to paper by the long-running saga of the river in the centre of the village. Here is his offering.

Ode to a Leak

T'was in the year two-nought-nought-six
That Shropshire Street was in a fix
For through the road, water was oozing
Precious stuff that we were losing.

It's not fresh water, it's a spring.
Who would have thought of such a thing?
United Utilities made this claim
And on the County laid the blame.

For fifty days the water flowed
Leaving a trickle across the road.
The village website, AudlemOnline
Told of the leak time after time.

Nothing was done to stem the flow
And so complaints began to grow
It's not down to us, UU would say
Blame the council for the delay.

Audlem Online took up the fight
And asked its readers with delight
To give the constant trickle a name
And started off an on-line game.

A gnome was offered as the prize
And to the website team's surprise
As local residents aimed to win
Suggested names came flooding in.

. De-Nile, the Ooze, the Po, the Why
In the answers began to fly.
The Passthebuck, the Affluent
To the web team the names were sent.

The lack of action duly meant
That on and on the saga went.
Nobody would try to stem the flow
As back and forth the blame did go.

Finally out the council came
The constant dribble for to tame.
All day they stayed and dug up the road
But still the water flowed and flowed.

And then much later in the night
The seeping pipe gave up the fight.
It finally burst, spewing full bore
And Audlem's water was no more.

Out United Utilities came
They really had to take the blame.
By now the water was gushing hard
Straight into Muller's Moseley's Yard .

They worked at night to plug the burst
As people tried to quench their thirst.
But now the supply has been restored
We have to ask the water board

Why did it take so long to sort out?
When all around were in no doubt
Despite the fact you were in denial
It was down to you all the while.

And so we thought the saga ended
When the pipe was finally mended.
All of a sudden the very same week
Another pipe began to leak.

Oh when will this leak be repaired?
Or should we all be prepared
To think of a name for this new stream
Or will De-Nile still take the cream?


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