AudlemOnline Logo Link

Names for the new Shropshire Street river flooding in! (updated again)

5th November 2006 @ 10:10am – by Audlem Webteam
Back home  /  News  /  Names for the new Shropshire Stre

Suggested names for the new river that's flowed across Shropshire Street for the past six weeks started as a trickle but are now positively flooding in. As readers yesterday will know, the prize in this magnificent Audlem Online competition is a gnome with a fishing rod, to be placed next to the new river. So far, we have received:-

The Avon – because the workmen are always calling, and it's a story you just couldn't 'make up'.

The Orinogo – given its persistence!

The Effluent – if it really is a blocked drain.

The Affluent – if it turns out to be a burst pipe and we can afford to waste this much water.

The Gratescape – could make a good film.

The Amazon – given the 'amazon' length of time it is taking to fix!

'The Po' – United Utilities taking the p--s.

The Weaver – as in 'we've a' burst pipe!

The Misaslippy – given the onset of the frost!

The Misterssippi – as it's 'man'-made!

The Ancient Ford – as there's no bridge – yet!

The Canube – short for 'can-u-be-lieve' it's not been repaired yet!

The Twenty Four Severn – as in the period of time it continues the flow for.

The Why? – oh why has it taken so long to repair.

Babylon (and on, and on, and on)

The Passthebuck – as in United Utilities and Cheshire County Council.

De-Nile – since the water board and the council deny any responsiblity.

The Jordan – but with further details we cannot reveal until after the 9.00

'watershed'. This same correspondent says he's seen a sea cucumber in the river as he splashed through yesterday. But, remember, it has to be a real pukka fish to claim the other prize of a fishing licence.

The Ooze – as in 'ooze responsible' for this oozing out of the ground. This correspondent also adds: "Interesting development on the fish spotting. A mate of mine who wishes to remain anonymous (in the true spirit of this website's forums) is convinced he saw a kipper in the river last night on his way back from the pub. He thinks it may have been swimming up stream to spawn at the Co-op. But it may just have been a red herring."

But as another correspondent has pointed out: "Don't despair though – I've heard the BBC are bring back a new series of "Jim'll Fix It". Let's hope United Utilities have a 'Jim' on their payroll.

Do keep the names pouring in.

This article is from our news archive. As a result pictures or videos originally associated with it may have been removed and some of the content may no longer be accurate or relevant.

Get In Touch

AudlemOnline is powered by our active community.

Please send us your news and views using the button below:

Village Map

© 2005-2024 AudlemOnline
Visitors Today 612 / June 21,120