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Names for the new Shropshire Street river flooding in! (updated again)

5th November 2006 @ 10:10am – by Audlem Webteam
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Suggested names for the new river that's flowed across Shropshire Street for the past six weeks started as a trickle but are now positively flooding in. As readers yesterday will know, the prize in this magnificent Audlem Online competition is a gnome with a fishing rod, to be placed next to the new river. So far, we have received:-

The Avon – because the workmen are always calling, and it's a story you just couldn't 'make up'.

The Orinogo – given its persistence!

The Effluent – if it really is a blocked drain.

The Affluent – if it turns out to be a burst pipe and we can afford to waste this much water.

The Gratescape – could make a good film.

The Amazon – given the 'amazon' length of time it is taking to fix!

'The Po' – United Utilities taking the p--s.

The Weaver – as in 'we've a' burst pipe!

The Misaslippy – given the onset of the frost!

The Misterssippi – as it's 'man'-made!

The Ancient Ford – as there's no bridge – yet!

The Canube – short for 'can-u-be-lieve' it's not been repaired yet!

The Twenty Four Severn – as in the period of time it continues the flow for.

The Why? – oh why has it taken so long to repair.

Babylon (and on, and on, and on)

The Passthebuck – as in United Utilities and Cheshire County Council.

De-Nile – since the water board and the council deny any responsiblity.

The Jordan – but with further details we cannot reveal until after the 9.00

'watershed'. This same correspondent says he's seen a sea cucumber in the river as he splashed through yesterday. But, remember, it has to be a real pukka fish to claim the other prize of a fishing licence.

The Ooze – as in 'ooze responsible' for this oozing out of the ground. This correspondent also adds: "Interesting development on the fish spotting. A mate of mine who wishes to remain anonymous (in the true spirit of this website's forums) is convinced he saw a kipper in the river last night on his way back from the pub. He thinks it may have been swimming up stream to spawn at the Co-op. But it may just have been a red herring."

But as another correspondent has pointed out: "Don't despair though – I've heard the BBC are bring back a new series of "Jim'll Fix It". Let's hope United Utilities have a 'Jim' on their payroll.

Do keep the names pouring in.


This article is from our news archive. As a result pictures or videos originally associated with it may have been removed and some of the content may no longer be accurate or relevant.

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