The big day is getting near

A gentle reminder to all male readers of www.audlem.org (female readers rarely need reminding about such things!), it is Valentine's day on Tuesday. So get your cards, flowers etc all ready for the big day.

If you are worried that you will not receive a single card, and this now applies to both sexes, buy two or three cards at the Post Office or other village shops, and post them to yourself. More than three, by the way, arouses suspicion and don't be tempted to buy a multipack – whilst economical, they are a little insincere on Valentine's Day and will give the game away.

All this avoids having to confess to not getting a card and others will be amazed by your popularity. It also has the great benefit of boosting local businesses!

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