Audlem's 'Wheelbarrow Samaritan'

"There's two bodies on the lawn over the road, Dad." This was how the alarm was first raised last week in a quiet Audlem residential area.

Had Midsomer Murders finally come to Audlem, the alerted local resident must have feared. Would John Nettles, also known as Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, be about to knock on the door?

Our alerted and highly responsible resident went outside in the dark to investigate and, to his amazement, this was no false alarm. Two bodies, neither showing much sign of life, were indeed stretched out on the lawn of a neighbour's garden.

Closer inspection revealed that the spread-eagled 'victims' were of more interest to the makers of Alka-Seltzer than the Crime Squad – or, indeed, DCI Barnaby. But what to do, our responsible resident wondered, as enquiries as to where the bodies lived, or were staying, were to no avail.

Eventually, a few clues did emerge from the less-dead body. But how to get them there? One was still comatose, the other barely able to move. The answer came in a flash – a wheelbarrow.

The more-dead body, a female, was being loaded when our hero felt her conveyance was less comfortable than she deserved. So, cushions were fetched from the house and, suitably padded, the lucky lady was wheeled through the streets by our Samaritan, her male companion, by now showing the first signs of recovery, just about able to stagger alongside.

It's suspected that the two bodies belonged to visitors to the village. Even if that were not the case, Audlem Online's famous sense of discretion would mean their secret was safe with us – honestly.

As for the Wheelbarrow Samaritan, you know who you are. And we salute you!

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