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An Apology from Audlem Online

1st April 2011 @ 12:12pm – by Audlem Webteam
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Audlem Online has made an unreserved apology to the operators of the Secret Bunker following the cancellation of the Stag Party reported earlier this morning on this website.

Using sophisticated equipment developed in Hankelow, Audlem Online is able to hack into all the mobile phones used by News International journalists.

This is how we heard, following Audlem Online's exclusive this morning, that the Royal Correspondent of the News of the World was now planning to install secret surveillance cameras in the bunker to capture shots of any tasteless armbands or hanky-panky at the stag party in question.

We felt it necessary to warn the authorities of this information and admit our breach of security in this morning's news story, hence the stag party cancellation.

Audlem Online has also apologised to the Audlem Strippergram Company for its subsequent loss of business. Fortunately, the artiste engaged for the night in question was able to cancel her 'By Royal Appointment' tattoo booking in good time.

The chairman of the Audlem webteam says: "We are well used to the puerile and tasteless news stories published on this day each year by our editor and tolerate them, just about. When, however, they impact on the commercial endeavours of local businesses, we always act firmly. These issues will be discussed fully and frankly at our next webteam meeting on Monday 4th April."


This article is from our news archive. As a result pictures or videos originally associated with it may have been removed and some of the content may no longer be accurate or relevant.

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