Audlem Voices Concert

Audlem Voices Concert
Saturday April 20th at St Mary's Church Hall, Wistaston at 7.30pm

For those readers of AudlemOnline who are unaware of the variety of amazingly talented people who gather together every Tuesday evening, and form the Audlem Voices choir, I have written a quick guide to ensure that you all rush out to purchase tickets for their forthcoming concert, if for no other reason than to spot who's who!

Conductor

The choir is composed of our dearly beloved and eternally patient leader Jenny Collis-Smith. Conducting is the act of directing a musical performance by way of visible gestures....
I'll leave the rest to your imagination!

Voices

Each voice part sings in a different range, and each one has a very different personality. You may ask, "Why should singing different notes make people act differently?", and indeed this is a mysterious question and has not been adequately studied, especially since scientists who study musicians tend to be musicians themselves and have all the peculiar complexes that go with being tenors, sopranos or whatever. However, this is beside the point; the fact remains that the four voice parts can be easily distinguished, and I will now explain how.

Sopranos

The Sopranos are the ones who sing the highest, and because of this they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewelery, and swishier skirts than anyone else, and they consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece.

Altos

The Altos are the salt of the earth – in their opinion, at least. Altos are unassuming people, who would wear jeans to concerts if they were allowed to. Altos are in a unique position in the chorus in that they are unable to complain about having to sing either very high or very low, and they know that all the other sections think their parts are pitifully easy.

Tenors

The Tenors are spoiled. That's all there is to it. For one thing, there are never enough of them, and choir directors would rather sell their souls than let a halfway decent tenor quit. And then, for some reason, the few tenors there who are available are always really good – it's one of those annoying facts of life.

Basses

The Basses sing the lowest of anybody. This basically explains everything. They are solid, dependable people, and have more facial hair than anybody else. The basses feel perpetually unappreciated, but they have a deep conviction that they are actually the most important part (a view endorsed by musicologists, but certainly not by sopranos or tenors), despite the fact that they have the most boring part of anybody and often sing the same note (or in endless fifths) for an entire page.

I hope this information proves helpful to those with limited knowledge of a choir structure, and encourages you all to help support this dedicated local ensemble.

Concert

The next Audlem Voices concert is on Saturday April 20th in St. Mary's Church Hall, Wistaston at 7.30pm and they will be performing John Rutter's 'Magnificat' plus other pieces. Our soloist is Jane Johnson (who will also be performing other items).

Tickets are £10 ( £6 OAP concessions) available from Jenny (811469) or any member of the choir.

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