Audlem aims to become Welsh

In response to being forced into the new East Cheshire, Audlem Parish Council is investigating whether the village can become part of Wales instead. Recalling that the border is only nine miles away, a Parish Council spokesperson reminded residents that the village had forced a change in the border of the Weaver Valley Regional Park just two years ago. A national border should therefore be relatively easy.

Becoming part of Wales would bring major benefits – free prescriptions; free parking at NHS hospitals, and a Grand Slam winning rugby team. The major Parish Plan project to build a sports centre in Audlem would also be realised almost immediately as every Welsh village with more than ten dwellings has a large Sports Centre.

The only disadvantage so far identified is the requirement for bilingual signs. This would mean the current eighteen signs around the memorial in the Square would become thirty six. A larger memorial would be needed, possibly topped by a statue of David Lloyd George, who is thought to have passed through Audlem once.

Audlem would also have to adopt a Welsh name. The hot favourite is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilioshroppieflygogogoch. This translates as "The church of St James by the hawthorn lined canal and the Shroppie Fly with the narrow road used by juggernauts from all over the world." It would become the longest Welsh name, beating the current record by eleven letters. It would, says the spokesperson, put Audlem on the Welsh map in a big way.

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