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Terry, your story reminds me of the farmer I acquainted who had managed to breed some 4 legged chickens, he told me it was so a family of 4 would all get a leg each off 1 chicken, and do they taste the same, I asked? I don't know he replied, I can't catch the buggers

Wanted / Recommendations

Maths tutor in Audlem for year 9 student going into year 10 this September

Well Ian's story reminded me of a farmer pal of mine who had a three legged pig. I asked him why the pig had only three legs.
"Well, I'll tell you" he replied. "One day I was ploughing my field and the tractor turned over and pinned me underneath. That pig ran for help. He saved my life".
"Oh, that's how he lost his leg somehow?" I asked.
"No. One night my wife and I were sound asleep and the house caught on fire. That pig woke us up. He saved our lives!"
"So that's how he lost his leg – in the fire", said I.
"No, that wasn't it" the farmer affirmed.
Exasperated, I demanded "Then how did he lose his damned leg?" and the farmer replied,
"When you have a pig that good, you don't eat him all at once!"

I would say that the portion of rates we pay towards the roads is highway robbery.
I walk regularly from home, Broadways, to the post box at the end of Daisybank and am always tense if there is traffic in both directions. The road on the B roadways side, the one with the footpath, is narrow which isn't really a problem but the road surface, for want of a better word, is in a dangerous condition for the nearside foot or so. Any cyclist forced in could come a real cropper. Yes i must report it to Cheshire East.

It would appear that Audlem and the surrounding area is bottom of the list with Cheshire East Highways Department for repairs. Woodhouse Lane, like others, is virtually permanently affected with potholes, blocked gullies and flooding and has been during the 9 years we have lived here. In fact, our local section of the lane has no drainage for either the properties or the road. Being in a dip flooding is a regular occurance here causing not only gradual deterioration of the road surface but also damage to adjacent gardens. Interestingly, following the installation of a new water main last year, United Utilities appear to have repaired the numerous excavations, which were naturally required, perfectly well so perhaps they should be contracted to take over this work in future. Locally referred to as "the crater", the section adjacent to Woodhouse Farm is a complete disgrace! The lane itself is part of a designated cycle route and as the many cyclists who share this with the heavy vehicles who are compelled to use it, it seems rather a dangerous mix.
Come on Cheshire East, the cost of claims for damage and injuries etc. must be escalating now and before long may well exceed the cost of repairs and maintenance!

Ian, I think you're telling porkies

Can anyone recommend a handyman please? Need some pictures, mirrors, coat hooks and shelves putting up. Regards, Tony

It's a little known fact that tissue from a pigs ear can be used in human surgery. A friend of mine lost an ear in an accident. He had in replaced with tissue from a pigs ear, I met him soon after the operation and asked him about his new ear he said it was crackling.

The gulleys have been cleared on Woore road after 6 months of complaining but the road drain itself, is still blocked somewhere above the Baptist Chapel and the stream. This means all water from above this point erupts out of the grid and runs down into Salford where it is eroding the road surface. The system needs urgent jetting to clear it.

You are spot-on Terri they certainly keep making a pigs ear of repairing the massive recurring one in Paddock Lane.

Regarding the missing pigs ears, Colin, I would hazard a guess that Cheshire East Highways have deployed them in their efforts to repair the potholes on Paddock Lane

With almost daily reports of missing cats and dogs running amock about the village I was very amused to find a small pig trotting down Bagley / Kettle lane. When approached it was incredibly friendly and as I had an inkling of where it might have originated from I was surprised when it walked by my side the few hundred yards to its rightful owner. Very grateful the owner then pointed out to me that they had been looking for it, but it was no good calling it, as it had no ears and was completely deaf. I can't help but wonder what happened to his ears? Pork scratching anyone?

Looking for someone to help my husband fit a rooflight.

Why is the Union Flag not flying at the usual locations around Audlem?

hi yes i live in the village and looking for gardening jobs call me on 07807853413 thanks adam

Thanks for dropping the note off Jean.

I wonder who wrote it? Whoever it was; Thank you. It was a nice gesture. ;-)

Light brown /red lab with collar wondering around the village. Tried to get hold but very timid and kept wondering off.
Currently in field in off Mill Lane. Call for details 07790003115

Seen Sunday 09/05 morning at 9.30am a sandy Labrador type dog running loose around Salford and Churchfields

We found a bank card on the floor on the entrance to the courtyard outside the Co-op. Handed it in to Judy at Williams newsagents

Hello

Can anyone recommend a local builder who would replace some damaged bricks please

Monique Hollinshead She is brilliant .

Can anyone please share a web link for Audlem FC fixtures please?

Speak to Sevi or Michelle at Audlem dry-cleaners.

I am the local leader for the Nantwich group of MIB International. We have regular networking events (starting face to face again this month 🤞) which we would love you to check out.

Whether you are just starting out in your business, or a well established company, there is something for everyone in the group, and plenty of opportunities for you to showcase your business in there.

We are a fun and friendly group of ladies and we can't wait to welcome you into the group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mibintnantwich/

Hi Can highly recommend Monique Hollinshead , she is local and her number is 07946527006. Fully experienced ex theatrical costume designer.