Walking the Smart-ARS route

Around thirty members of ARS (Audlem Ramblers Society) enjoyed a 4-mile walk with cryptic directional clues and quiz questions to answer on Saturday, the inaugural Smart-ARS.

It has been suggested that others may want to find their way around and check out their observational skills and local knowledge, albeit without the mulled wine and chips Saturday's party enjoyed – although of course you can order them for yourself in the pub.

So here are the clues, all in poetic form composed by Mike Mason, with a little help from John Tilling. You start from Audlem car park and most groups took around two hours to complete the walk. We will publish the answers and a copy of the route in a week's time:

Smart-ARS

The smart ARS walk gets under way
But which direction first we pray?
There's help from a chippy monk in sight
Let's head his way and take a right.
Q1. The monk?

A saint comes next with services due
On Sunday to prayer, but to Nantwich town too.
The services you seek can be found on a table
But how many on Sunday? Please tell if you're able.
Q2. How many?

From your current spot, (a timetable to keep to),
An old priest will point the direction to leap to.
Past a churning green trio, there's no time to dally
But what colour was this, when a festival alley?
Q3. The colour?

Down the lane as you trek we are confident you'll
Leave old grammar behind as you bear right to school
Where the glass in a doorway some light should bring
What month near a bridge might herald the spring?
Q4. The month?

To a ford you then Sally and ponder with glee
At a beech tree that spells out repeatedly
At a house, cottage, lodge, the old word for a twin
Ne'er both shall meet, but there's points here to win.
Q5. The old word?

So it's on to the 'woods' as you all bowl along
But not in a hurry, for that would be wrong.
On a green you must find, before you depart
Which town is instructed to make an end of a start?
Q6. The town?

Press on up the track (there's a following breeze)
You may meet some mud so don't slip over please
As away to your right your eyes you must cast
What building stood here in the long-distant past?
Q7. What was it?

It's a bit of a grind, if you haven't a clue,
So on again trudge – there's still plenty to view
'Till end of the path and a T quite plain
Where some clergy lend a name to the lane.
Q8. The lane?

Go left on the tarmac; your pace is increased
But keep an eye out for a fabled horned beast
That lurks in a entrance (a few extra marks)
Before you skew right and head off to the 'parks'.
Q9. The beast?

If on the white rails, you're on the right track
Bear left at the balls, there's no turning back
A kiss at each gate, swinging through the plantation
But how many times must you do salutation?
Q10. How many?

And on down the field, to your left is a fence
No cows about now – they've got too much sense!
And over the hedge 'cross the field you can see
What could 'our crock robot' possibly be?
Q11. What is it?

Cross over the road, watch out for the cars
Your health and your safety are vital to ARS
Some yards to the left, then a right where you see
How a herd of cows might be hung from a tree.
Q12. The herd?

At a good 15 max, don't get stumped by the clues
For at last by the river you get chance to 'mews'
At the falls, and behind you, a quick chance to tally
The decorous wall ties, but don't dilly-dally.
Q13. How many?

Pass over the weaver: no, not the old bird
Though a bird gives a clue to a riddle we heard.
So stop, look about you, what's perched on the lawn
That sounds like a coat; but this white one's not worn?
Q14. What is it?

Step up now with stile, keep the farm to your right
Over fields to a farm track, a bridge where a flight
Of steps lead down to water and a city advertised
Where a ball's not a ball, though it often times tries.
Q15. The city?

Pass under the bridge, there's more clues we declare
So note all the warnings you find with great care
Cast about near an entrance where anglers beware.
But here is the catch; can you see what's not there?
Q16. What's missing?

Further on you may notice Moss Hall and environs
And stuck for a rhyme (we're not buddin' Byrons!)
Where a secret's outlined in a trap on the map
A command post of sand? Some handicap perhaps.
Q17. The secret?

The end is quite close now it all seems just fine
As you pass underneath bridge seventy nine
But you, more or less, must now give the number
Of the previous bridge that you all passed under.
Q18. The canal bridge number?

When just half a dozen to Nantwich, there's found
Two more, but what total computes if you round
Up the miles to get there and back to all three
The numbers are all set in stone, you should see.
Q19. How many miles?

Almost home now and dry, but here is the rub
To finish, you first must decipher the pub
With letters so sozzled (it's a bit of twister)
A pub where they might serve "More cold beer Mr"
20. The pub name?

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