Quantum Ales in Audlem

Audlem Pubs to Launch Revolutionary Quantum Ale

In a groundbreaking fusion of science and brewing, our three forward thinking local pubs have combined their customer experiences and announced the launch of Quantum Ale, a beer so advanced that it exists in two states at once, both poured and un-poured.

Local brewer Dr. Tiling, who allegedly holds a PhD in Theoretical Brewing Physics, claims that the ale was developed using cutting-edge quantum mechanics. Unlike traditional beers, which simply go from the pump into the glass, Quantum Ale takes advantage of the Schrödinger Pint principle, he explained. Until observed, the beer remains in a super position, both full and empty at the same time.

According to Dr Tiling, drinkers will never again experience the frustration of an empty glass. If you don't look at it, it might still be full, he said, with a glint in his eye. However, a trained and dedicated Audlem group of early testers of the Quantum Ale reported unexpected side effects, including pints spontaneously teleporting to other tables and customers mysteriously ending up in the beer garden without actually walking, or staggering there!

Regulars of our three local pubs remain skeptical. It sounds like a load of old hops, said local residents AJ and his sidekick JD, but if it means my pint never runs out, I'll take a gallon of it.

Quantum Ale has reportedly caught the attention of major breweries and physicists alike. Some experts suggest the technology could revolutionise beer transport, allowing pints to be served before they are even brewed. Others worry that drinking too much Quantum Ale may cause time loops, meaning pub-goers could find themselves reliving last orders indefinitely! Some may see this as an advantage, others less so......

When asked whether the pub planned to also introduce a Quantum Lager, a spokesperson simply shrugged and said, 'It depends if you're looking at it

The first pints of Quantum Ale are set to be unveiled on April 1st though whether they will actually exist remains to be seen.