Audlem WI April Meeting

I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored they go out for a walk through my mouth – this is rarely a good thing!

For health reasons I've decided to quit drinking coffee. I know it won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight, but in time I'll get used to it. It will still be the best part of waking up!

Women are funny. We are certainly funnier than men. Put three women together for more than three minutes and -- whether or not we have ever met before -- we will have exchanged vital details of our inner lives and started to laugh.

We can move swiftly from the gritty details of our intimate life to the generalities of politics and culture within a single sentence. We use humour to name things in our lives the world wants to keep mysterious. I had a friend who told me she was in hospital for female problems. I asked her, 'What does that mean?' She said, 'You know, female problems.'
I said, 'Which ones? Parallel parking or reading a map?"

Women's humour is not for the faint hearted or the easily shocked. Nobody said that life would be easy, but by seeing the ironies and absurdities of the world around us, we can lighten up and be less weighed down.

We know life is a wonderful journey, but sometimes it's just not fair. Some people drink champagne in the fast lane and some of us eat paste sandwiches by the potholes in Audlem Car Park.

Most people are strong enough to get up and get going, others need some inspiration, which is why Audlem WI ladies – who are still hot – they just come in flushes now and then – gather together once a month on the pretext of enjoying a great tea, but in reality to seek out and support friends who may be struggling for one reason or another.

There are always loose ends in real life but with strong female solidarity we can gather them up with our knitting needles and create comfort blankets.

Although it is well known that marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband, Audlem WI members are seen as a band of 'Merry Women' led by our President Lin Nicholas who can't be Robin Hood as she doesn't wear suitable tights and a longbow is taller than she is!

This merry band are all realists. We know that Cinderella never asked for a Prince, merely a night off and a sparkly new dress, and that if you lose your shoe at midnight, you're probably drunk, however years of fairy tale exploits have led us to reflect that Cinderella is also proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!

April's meeting commenced with yet another perfect rendering of 'Jerusalem' by June Perry – I don't know how she does it, remembering the correct notes at every meeting, whilst I still struggle to remember the right words!
I used to have a photographic memory, but sadly nowadays I appear to have lost the film! I've also learnt not to stand at the end of digital photos as I can guarantee I'll be cropped out.

After a lengthy, but informative, business meeting, we all became aware that our speaker, John Williams – not the Star Wars composer, our funds don't run to that – had not arrived.

It transpired that he had lost his way, easily done when you are navigating from Nantwich to Audlem! (But then he is a man!) It must have been one of those times when Siri asked him to stop in 400 yards to let him out.....we've all been there.

It would have been easy to say 'we're just preparing for our speaker, please feel free to talk amongst yourselves', however we're made of sterner stuff and fortunately I remembered an interesting article that I had been sent by Suzy Warren which might amuse our merry band.

Suffice to say I have included the link below, so that readers may understand the hilarious question from one of our ladies – who shall remain anonymous to protect her innocence – who asked 'what is a vulva?.'

Click here.

It may be a little too late to inform her about the facts of life!

Tabley House

Finally John arrived, a little flustered and very apologetic, and immediately launched into his speech about Tabley House, where he is a guide.

Tabley House is a fine Palladian house designed by John Carr of York, built in 1761 for the Leicester family, who lived at Tabley for 700 years.

It has been used as a TV location for various productions, and the most recent TV credits include Peaky Blinders, an Antiques Roadtrip, the Forsyth Saga and Flog it!

The rooms which are open to the public, are the original state rooms, designed to impress. They include the Portico Room (the original entrance hall), the Drawing Room, the Common Parlour, the Dining Room, the Oak Hall, and the Gallery.

John gave us an insight into the reality of the lifestyles of the occupants, one of whom had been sacked by Queen Victoria, due to womanising, drinking and other unacceptable behaviours, who understandably was a great friend of the Prince Regent who had similar hobbies!

John seamlessly managed the transition between a speech and questions, his enthusiasm for his subject shone through and we are all looking forward to a day out at Tabley House and grounds which Joyce Clydesdale has kindly arranged for us.

After our tea, with some delicious home made biscuits, John judged the raffle which this month was 'An interesting or unusual cup and saucer.'

Our ladies did us proud with a total of fifteen entries, and the winner was Elizabeth Huntbach, second was Lyn Wainwright and I came third.

This month we are trialing a new raffle idea, the winner will take half the raffle money to spend as they like and the second prize will be our beautiful table flowers.

We all waited with baited breath as the draw was made by Lin, this moment deserved a drum roll, and the winning ticket holder's name was announced............... and so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich!

Birthday Flowers were given to Pat Clarke, Sheila Harris, Doreen Hubbard, Betty Minns, Suzy Warren and Christine Plume.

Finally it was time to same goodbye until the next meeting in May – you'll all be delighted to know I shall be unavailable for this meeting, so you don't have to avert your eyes every time I pass by with my iPhone camera!

A few words of wisdom ladies. Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older, it's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past a mirror!

This article is from our news archive. As a result pictures or videos originally associated with it may have been removed and some of the content may no longer be accurate or relevant.