By Audlem Webteam - 5th November 2006 10:52am
Suggested names for the new river that's flowed across Shropshire Street for the past six weeks started as a trickle but are now positively flooding in. As readers yesterday will know, the prize in this magnificent Audlem Online competition is a gnome with a fishing rod, to be placed next to the new river. So far, we have received:-
The Avon — because the workmen are always calling, and it's a story you just couldn't 'make up'.
The Orinogo — given its persistence!
The Effluent — if it really is a blocked drain.
The Affluent — if it turns out to be a burst pipe and we can afford to waste this much water.
The Gratescape — could make a good film.
The Amazon — given the 'amazon' length of time it is taking to fix!
'The Po' — United Utilities taking the p--s.
The Weaver — as in 'we've a' burst pipe!
The Misaslippy — given the onset of the frost!
The Misterssippi — as it's 'man'-made!
The Ancient Ford — as there's no bridge — yet!
The Canube — short for 'can-u-be-lieve' it's not been repaired yet!
The Twenty Four Severn — as in the period of time it continues the flow for.
The Why? — oh why has it taken so long to repair.
Babylon (and on, and on, and on)
The Passthebuck — as in United Utilities and Cheshire County Council.
De-Nile — since the water board and the council deny any responsiblity.
The Jordan — but with further details we cannot reveal until after the 9.00
'watershed'. This same correspondent says he's seen a sea cucumber in the river as he splashed through yesterday. But, remember, it has to be a real pukka fish to claim the other prize of a fishing licence.
The Ooze — as in 'ooze responsible' for this oozing out of the ground. This correspondent also adds: "Interesting development on the fish spotting. A mate of mine who wishes to remain anonymous (in the true spirit of this website's forums) is convinced he saw a kipper in the river last night on his way back from the pub. He thinks it may have been swimming up stream to spawn at the Co-op. But it may just have been a red herring."
But as another correspondent has pointed out: "Don't despair though — I've heard the BBC are bring back a new series of "Jim'll Fix It". Let's hope United Utilities have a 'Jim' on their payroll.
Do keep the names pouring in.
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