Home Thoughts.... or Not Going Abroad

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Our contributor writes — Having spent some time this week finding ways of keeping occupied I tried to put a few thoughts down re the current situation via some lines of "poetry". Well there are some attempts to rhyme and scan (though I can't find a way of stressing the final "ed" in some words) and some crude attempts to include some poetic and classical references.

I would prefer to publish anonymously to avoid any embarrassment for my wife!

Ed — we think it's brilliant — perhaps the fourth stanza is a bit of a struggle, but you try and find a rhyme for "Warburton".
.

Home Thoughts.... or Not Going Abroad

I've got to stay at home, now April's nearly here
No cruise of Caribbean, not now until next year
No sight of green clad Pitons or swim waters warm and clear
'Cos tousled Boris tells us, and swears that he's sincere

No Raffles Gin or Harry's Bar
No snowy Himalayan peaks to gaze at from afar
The only peak that I can see, on tiptoe if I strain
Is Beeston on that blue remembered ridge atop the Cheshire Plain

I'll see no Barrier Reefed slivered fish in wavering morris glide
Or sink a pint of beer by some Kiwi harbour side
No humbug vested gondolier on Grand Canal to steer by
And near to home no diesel belching barge beside the Shroppie Fly

Where wives brave Scylla and Charybdis perils of the lock
And skipper hearing Siren call of Scala, stays resolute as rock
No football cricket golf, or other sport upon the box to see
Nor hark the distant Sunday morning shout from Audlem FC's crew
Urged on by trilbied Scouser fan (I think you'll know just who!)
So April may turn out, as Eliot said, 'the cruellest month', for we

But wait. Within the dark encircling gloom,
A lighter thought can loom
Though I'll not see the drifting mist o'er thunder of Niagara
I'll sneak down town to Boots and get me some Viagra.

LAP

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