By Steve Elliott - 27th March 2020 6:07am
This summary was penned by a family that I know very well. The names have been changed for privacy, but its a great summary of how things are really going!!
Its written in the style of the Big Brother TV series and is best read with an imaginary Geordie accent!
Children = John & Julia
Dog = Spot
Day 2 in the house (Geordie accent) and the contestants have already gone a bit potty (in a good way mind, whey aye man)
08:00 — Julia and Daddy are in the kitchen making Roman Loaf.
08:15 — John does Guided Reading with Daddy.
09:37 — The first signs of trouble when Julia is spotted secretly stealing chocolate biscuits whilst supposedly doing exercises with Jo Wicks.
10.00 — John visits the diary room to talk to his teacher with the rest of his class.
10:30 — it's finally quiet in the house as all the contestants get on with their work.....
10:35 — John wants everyone in the house to see what he's doing for no apparent reason.
11:00 — Julia enters the diary room for a seamless call with her class.
11:30 — John illegally contacts the outside world via 'Teams' and has to be given a verbal warning.
12:30 — everyone sighs with relief as a common task is achieved — eating lunch (until Julia drops half her sandwich and Spot the dog pounces to ruin her meal).
13.00 — all is quiet in the house as everyone gets on with their work....
13:05 — John wants everyone in the house to see what he's doing — for no apparent reason.
14:05 — Daddy is in the diary room joining a 35 person knowledge share on how to manage contact centres in a Covid-19 scenario. The audience are captivated until interrupted by a dribbling noise followed by the sound of flushing water.
14.00 — Mummy and Daddy are both in diary rooms on work calls. Julia and John are fighting on the trampoline.
14:30 — all is quiet in the house as everyone gets on with their work....
14:35 — John finishes his presentation on the Great fire of London and wants everyone in the house to see what he's doing — for good reason, as it is excellent.
15.00 — news filters into the house that the local brewery is closing its shop. Daddy is seen sobbing in the corner away from the cameras.
15:05 — news filters into the house that the local brewery is still doing free delivery. Daddy is seen running round the garden swinging his shirt and screaming "YES" from the top of his lungs!
16.00 — Julia emerges from her embarrassment at her dad to challenge John to a drawing competition.
16:05 — Mummy separates John and Julia into different rooms till they stop accusing each other of cheating.
16:59 — Mummy and Daddy stare at the clock willing it to move faster.
17:00 — Mummy and Daddy open 4 bottles of beer, a bottle of wine and poor themselves a generous gin and tonic.
17:30 — Daddy delivers flame-grilled burgers from the first BBQ of the year.
18.00 — everyone sits back, replete after a delicious meal.
19.00 — Mummy and Daddy sack off the work they still have left to do.
20.00 — kids get into bed — too late!
20.30 — Mummy and Daddy put the last of the wine back in the fridge.
21.00 — emotions run high as sleep fails to come.
21:05 — Mummy and Daddy get the wine back out of the fridge.
21:30 — Daddy changes tomorrow's timetable to include an extra hour of self-isolation.
And so Day 3 dawns..................
Tuesday 7th Jul
Monday 6th Jul
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