Commonsense Party ahead in latest poll

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With General Election fever mounting, the latest opinion poll shows the Commonsense Party heading for a resounding victory locally. No less than 60% of a cross section of Audlem voters* say they want Commonsense to be returned to Government, leaving the traditional parties trailing well behind.

Rumours that the newly-formed Commonsense Party has its roots in Audlem have been circulating for some time. A draft copy of the party's election manifesto found in the village gives credibility to those rumours.

While Audlem Online aims for political neutrality at all times, it's easy to understand the Commonsense Party's sudden rise to prominence. Amongst a host of eye-catching proposals, the party proposes:

  • Swingeing cuts in bureaucracy and regulations with the country reverting to using Commonsense.
  • One third fewer MPs
  • No football in the traditional cricket season
  • A special 'Entertainment' tax on footballers and entertainers earning above £250,000pa set at 95%
  • All Government 'Targets' to be scrapped as they distort public services
  • 88.33% of Quangos to be abolished with 24 months
  • All EU rules to be ratified by UK Parliament before introduction and must pass the 'Commonsense' test or be rejected
  • MPs from Scottish constituencies not to be allowed to vote on purely English matters.
  • The Cabinet and Parliament to be included in the political process once again
  • MPs living outside London to be housed in Government owned flats during the working week
  • All cabinet meetings in the fishing season to be at smart hotels near trout streams.**
We understand that the Leader of the Commonsense party, despite being a well-known local personality, is staying anonymous at present, arguing that it's policies rather than personalities that should decide elections. It's suspected, however, that on past form, once elected he'll do whatever he wants.

*The poll was carried amongst 10 elderly gentlemen after a few drinks on 1st April 2010.
** The Leader's perk, we understand.

 

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